My first appointment with my Oncologist....

Today I had my first appointment with my Oncologist, Dr. Sardar, and he was such a warm and comforting person that I felt so much better instantly. I brought my mom and sister with me, along with a long list of questions. I was actually really nervous about this first appointment because I was worried that he was going to tell me it was worse than they had thought, etc, etc. But much to my relief, I actually left feeling very optimistic and ready to get going and started with treatment. The Oncologist confirmed with the final pathology report that I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma stage 2A and that the swollen lymph nodes are just in my upper chest area. He said that the cure rate is very high in my age group, it is about 95%. So out of 20 people, 1 would relapse. I will be starting chemotherapy in about 2-3 weeks. I will have to take a "chemo class" first, have a bone marrow biopsy, and then have a "port" put in my chest area so that I can receive the chemo drugs from that instead of being poked with a needle each time. I will be receiving a total of 8 chemotherapy treatments, which equal about 2 treatments a month, and then will be treated with radiation after, and I have no idea how much of that I receive or for how long? Another question to add to my list.  

This still all seems so unreal and unbelievable to me. I still feel like I am in a nightmare and cannot wake up. It was just last week that I was doing my normal school and work routine, and now I am talking about starting chemotherapy? Life can change so drastically in just one day. I have realized that I have to try and come to terms with the fact that this is my reality for right now and that I have to get through this and be able to move on from it, and continue forward with the future that I have always envisioned for myself. I think that it is so unfair for anybody to ever have to go through this, but I have made a promise to myself to try and remain as strong as I can, even if that means having an emotional cry fest breakdown once in a while (which I did yesterday, and actually felt so much better afterward).

The one thing that I want to address and kind of "vent" about is the fact that the first thing that some people have asked about is my freakin' hair! Really?!! Are we that shallow that we let the hair on our heads define who we are? Am I going to be a different person because I won't have hair for a while until I get better? Absolutely not!

I will definitely admit that I have been quite concerned/upset about that myself since I love having long hair and have worked very hard to get my hair to a longer length over the years with my hair vitamins, etc. but people who I do not even know very well have asked about my hair before asking any other questions about me having cancer. I just think that it's lame, and this blog is for me to be real and say exactly how I feel, so that is what I am doing! :)